In the interest of increasing understanding about this relationship
and some of its more complex elements, I thought I'd give a little overview
to Dominant/submissive relationships and how it relates to JokerxHarley.
First of all: What is Dominance and submission?
Basically, it refers to a set of behaviours, customs and even rituals relating
to the giving and accepting of dominance of a person over another in a relationship.
This can happen in an erotic context, or as a lifestyle.
In the most traditional D/s relationships, one partner takes on the position
of the 'Dominant' - that is, the authoritative role, whilst the other takes
on the 'submissive' - the subordinate role.
There are many different ways that D/s relationships take place. They can
include the Dominant controlling the life of the submissive to the extent
they direct what the submissive wears and does at all times, with the submissive
needing to request permission for every day acts such as going to the bathroom.
Or they can occur on a less pervasive but no less intense or ritualistic
scale, such as the power exchange occurring only during sexual activities.
D/s relationships can also include sadomasochistic acts such as torture,
humiliation, corporal punishment. But they do not have to.
There is a different between D/s and S&M. The two are often combined
for practitioners of these relationships, but not always.
To the uninitiated, a D/s relationship can look merely brutal and cruel
and whilst many D/s relationships have representations of brutality and sadomasochistic
practises as part of them, in reality D/s relationships are about a consensual
power exchange.
Just as the Dominant gets intense gratification and fulfilment from dominating
and from providing boundaries within which the submissive must act, so too
does the submissive get intense gratification and fulfilment from submitting
and performing the Dominant's will.
Without the consent of the submissive and the submissive's active participation,
the relationship cannot truly exist. The submissive is not forced to
relinquish their power - they instead willingly hand it over and that is an
act of strength and power in itself.
Such relationships also have high levels of trust. The submissive must trust
that in the relinquishing of power, the Dominant will take care of them and
ensure they are looked after (psychologically and physically) and the Dominant
must trust the submissive is genuinely consenting and being forthcoming about
their participation and needs.
The power exchange in the relationship is just that - an exchange. Submissives
are not unknown for pushing the established boundaries. Because the activity
is consensual, submissives may 'act up' in order to receive punishment or
simply to push their Dominant into taking things to the next level. Other
submissives will take the greatest pleasure in being well-behaved at all times.
Some Dominants enjoy a pushy sub, others would rather have an obedient one.
Like most things in life, there are endless variations.
Again to the uninitiated, such relationships often look as though the Dominant
is the one getting the most out of it. On the contrary, the Dominant is invested
in meeting the expectations of their submissive as well. The fact is,
both parties involved in the relationship are there because this type of relationship
is satisfying to them. They are generally informed and aware and actively
involved.
D/s and JokerxHarley
Joker and Harley have a very clear D/s relationship, but it is one that
is, like themselves, much larger than life and very unhealthy.
Because of the nature of D/s relationships it can happen that unstable participants
can lose sight of the lines between consensuality and abuse, which leads to
a D/s relationship which is also abusive. Joker and Harley clearly have one
of these.
It is also unlikely that, although both parties are 'aware' on some level
of the D/s dynamic between them, this relationship has been negotiated, reasonable
boundaries have been set, or it has been formally acknowledged in any way.
Indeed, just the opposite.
In the D/s scene, this usually happens - agreed upon activities will be
discussed, contracts will be written and ceremonies of commitment are undertaken.
There is a general adherence to the credo of 'safe, sane and consensual'
and I don't think anyone will argue this is noticeably absent from Joker
and Harley's relationship.
What we see is a 24/7 (lifestyle) D/s relationship without boundaries, limits
or sanity. It is not play, and it doesn't ever stop. It's all the way and
simply a part of life for both of them. It's dangerous, all-consuming and
there isn't any safe-word. It's a very exciting idea to the hardcore D/ser,
but is not practical in reality and, generally speaking, impossible to do
healthily.
Nonetheless, despite this, both Joker and Harley get clear gratification
from this relationship.
Joker, as a narcissistic egomaniac with a naturally forceful and dominating
personality, would find his needs met in Harley's adoration and devotion.
His sadistic streak can be gratified with her and he can enjoy the power he
wields over her in her inability to ever truly give him up.
Harley, meanwhile, can gratify her need to adore and nurture someone who
loves the attention (most of the time). She can also satisfy her lust
for thrillseeking with a man who has no limits and will continue to push hers.
Her masochism can be indulged with his violence.
The relationship's intensity is such that they're always on an emotional
rollercoaster together. This can be as addictive as any drug and is no doubt
a key element in the cyclical nature of their relationship. Splitting up -
breaking the D/s ties - only to reunite and re-establish them would be intoxicating
for people involved in this sort of dynamic.
Joker provides Harley with a sense of purpose and self-worth, something
she was shown to have been seeking when she encountered him. Through this
relationship and following a life of crime, Harley has secured a great deal
of attention on a high profile scale. He also provides her with a structure
of reward and punishment, as perverse as it may be, that she clearly needs
and desires.
D/s relationships, although there may be a high level of physicality, primarily
take place on a psychological level. It is easy enough to hit someone or allow
yourself to be hit. The act of Dominating, or submitting, on the other hand
is quite different. It takes place on a different psychological level that
allows whatever activity is being carried out to be more intense and more
exciting.
Sometimes no physical interaction is required; simply knowing that one is
submitting to one's Dominant, or one has control over one's submissive, is
enough to create an intoxicating and delicious state of being.
Psychology plays an enormous part in Joker and Harley's relationship and
is definitely where the abusiveness is most on show. Joker delights in manipulating
and tormenting Harley on an emotional level - teasing and denying her - and
possessing her soul in madness. He was actually responsible for breaking her
mind and binding her to him in obsession. On some level Harley is aware of
this and delights in it. She loves that she has transgressed the reasonable
boundaries of society and while she occasionally makes attempts at rehabilitation,
ultimately she can never commit to it. On the other hand, her committal to
Joker is absolute. As someone who demonstrated absolute determination to what
she has wanted - her scholarship, her degree and her man - it's interesting
that she can't - or won't - stick to sanity.
It is clear also that Harley gets immense joy and satisfaction from being
by Joker's side and seeing his needs are met, just as he gets enjoyment from
involving her in key roles in his schemes and sharing a joke with her on a
level he doesn't with anyone else, except Batman. (Although Batsy rarely sees
the joke.)
Power exchange is very much an active element of this relationship and further
reflects the consensuality. Harley is happy to be submissive, to even be cowed
and intimidated, so long as Joker is playing within whatever boundaries they
implicitly understand. When he transgresses these, she retaliates and he
has to comply in order for her to back off. Also, Joker definitely bit off
a little more than he could chew with Harley. Her devotion and neediness is
such that it often frustrates him, or outright freaks him out, which must
be a shock to someone as conceited as he is.
There is also some indication that Harley, who definitely plays dumber than
she is, may subtly manipulate Joker with deliberate 'goof-ups', or calculated
'disingenuous' behaviour in order to secure his attention.
She definitely controls his environment through taking the pressure of him
to see to basic, everyday needs. He is so frenetically insane that these things
prove distractions to him and Harley builds up a more or less orderly structure
around him. If she's not around, this quickly collapses leading to his frustration
and discomfort.
Although he has the official power in this relationship, it is at least
partially due to the fact she permits him to.
D/s and Sex
Due to the fact that the relationship operates within a D/s framework, it
would extend to sexual interaction as well. People rightly argue that Joker
is not someone who has ever appeared overly-interested in traditional forms
of sex - but Joker nonetheless seems to be a very sexual, sensual being. Often
in D/s relationships, traditional sex is enjoyed but is not the only way
the participants obtain sexual gratification. The activity of a submissive
carefully polishing their Dominant's shoe, for example, can be as fully gratifying
sexually as sex itself would be to another couple.
Given the two clowns' insanity and perverse sense of humour as well as the
love Joker has of pushing limits, it's easy to imagine them having sexual
interaction on multiple other levels. 'Sexual interaction' does not necessarily
mean genital, or even physical, contact. It can involve rituals such as dressing
one partner, performing an activity as instructed, meting out a punishment
- or even, in Joker and Harley's case, committing a crime, a murder or act
of destruction.
Daddy/girl and JokerxHarley
Another level this relationship works on, a subset of D/s relationships,
is the Daddy/girl dynamic.
Daddy/girl is very similar to a general D/s relationship in that one participant
- the Daddy - acts as the authority and the other - the girl - acts as the
subordinate.
This relationship dynamic generally involves a fetishising or eroticising
of parent/child roles but does not always have anything to do with an active
incest fantasy. This relationship dynamic also is referred to as 'ageplay'
as although there might not be much - or any -difference in the participants'
ages, a crucial element of the relationship is the 'girl' acting much younger.
These relationships can differ from more straightforward D/s relationships
in that while there is discipline, authority, submission, reward and punishment,
there is also a lot of nurturing and care taking.
When 'in role' as the 'girl', the submissive often experiences a sense of
freedom from adult concerns, allowing a great deal of relaxation to take place.
In this role, the submissive can be free to be immature and childish, unrestrained
and uninhibited, knowing the Daddy is there to provide direction, structure
and discipline.
I feel you can actively see this taking place between Joker and Harley although
it becomes as twisted as they are. Joker initiates Harley into his world
and educates her in the way of crime, madness and mayhem. He can be very
coddling and indulgent of her, treating her like a little girl. For Harley's
part, she is extremely immature in many ways and definitely left behind responsibility
when she entered Joker's world. His insanity allows her to be completely
free and yet his domineering nature assures that she still has expected boundaries
to work within.
Joker did create Harley and so, in a way, he is her father. The relationship
is not literal, but symbolic, and can prove highly exciting and stimulating
to those involved in it.
Again, psychology plays a large part here. Harley was ambitious and self-assured
before Joker twisted her mind. Now she is a playful girl-woman. That would
definitely tickle Joker's perverse fancy, to know he was the cause of such
regression. Meanwhile, Harley gets the enjoyment of knowing she gave it all
up for her man, and of providing entertainment to him.
Consensual Abuse
I feel I need to stress again that, whilst these relationships are usually
enacted in a healthy way, this is obviously not the case with Joker and Harley.
Given their insanity, neither would be good (and in Joker's case, concerned
with) setting appropriate boundaries or knowing when to stop. Joker ends up
being abusive to Harley on two levels - one, with his inability to relate
adequately to other humans and so simply acting without regard for others
- and two, with his keen astuteness of human psychology, doing it with deliberate
intent because it amuses him. Harley, while she plays the game back, is unable
to determine clear limits for herself.
In this
way the abuse becomes an accepted and integrated part of the relationship.
To expect Joker to behave in any other way is impossible and Harley is quite
aware of who and what he is. I'm not saying that's right, or ideal - but it
is a choice she actively makes throughout the course of the relationship.
To claim that Harley is naive and ignorant of this is to ignore all of her
very canny and astute behaviour at other times.
And yet, as we have seen in many of their stories, the relationship as it
is, is also something they are both happy with. For more detail on the specifics
of this, please read the Relationship
Evolution article, which deals with stories such as 'My Boyfriend's
Back', 'Beware the Creeper', 'Harlequinade', 'The Bride of the Joker', '24
Hours' and others. They are both invested in it - no matter how much
Joker complains or Harley swears him off - and are gratified by it. They
show each other affection and also a great deal of trust.
Trust is critical in any of these relationships, even in one that isn't
defined or limited. And that's not to say trust isn't misplaced in this relationship
- due to those absent limits, it definitely is! And yet there is trust. This
is not the sort of every-day trust in which you believe what the other partner
says at all times. It's trust that the other partner understands what each
participant's particular stake is and that that will be fulfilled - even
if, as in this relationship - that doesn't take place in the most healthy
or respectful way.
The point is, as unhealthy as this is, it is something both participants
are happy to be involved in. It may not be ideal to the onlooker, but it suits
the two of them and fulfils needs they both have that are complemented by
the precise personality and nature of the other. This is made absolutely clear,
just as the unhealthy and messed-up elements are too. While relationships
like this may seem distasteful to those who aren't into these particular dynamics,
that doesn't mean they're not fulfilling and enjoyable for those who are
involved in them.
It's Never Just You
From a very young age my natural inclination was towards D/s relationships
and it is something I instinctively recognised in the JokerxHarley relationship,
although at the time I was not aware of the kink scene and certainly did not
have the language to express what it was I perceived. Returning to the fandom
with more maturity and several years of experience in the kink scene, I can
now fully comprehend the complexity of this relationship.
To my delight, I quickly discovered I was far from the only one and that
many other fans of this pairing also recognise the consensual D/s Daddy/girl
nature of this relationship.
We perceive the twistedness of it, but we also perceive the genuine affection
and mutual gratification. It appeals to us. It's bent, twisted, sick and wrong
- and maybe we are too.
But we kinda enjoy that. :)
READING:
Dominance/submission
Daddy/girl